Dating with disabilities

Category:  Opinions
Thursday, February 14th, 2019 at 8:20 AM

Today is Valentine’s Day. Many people will be looking for someone to enjoy it with, but how easy is that?

For someone with disabilities, many hurdles exist. The first one is confidence. It’s even hard for an able-bodied person to have confidence in the face of dating. And the one thing that sets us apart is our disability. We are our worst enemy. We judge ourselves way before anyone has a chance to get to us.

For starters, we judge our ability to go on dates. We say to ourselves, “Who’s gonna have fun with someone who can’t even feed themselves?” In our minds, we seem more like a hindrance.

 I think of all the places I used to take a date before my accident. In the end, I notice that half those places, I cannot really go to with someone anymore. Take for instance bowling. Bowling is a relaxing yet fun place to go, even just for friends. Now, I’m unable to use the ball or even get down to the lanes. Even just a dinner date is rough. There is a process to it. First, how do I get into the restaurant? It may sound simple, but it’s a legitimate question. How do I eat? Many people would think it’s a hassle to feed someone else. 

Deep down in some dark place, we all know disability is not sexy. It’s hard to make it that way. It is much easier to relax and be comfortable with someone able-bodied who needs no assistants, but we’re still human. We crave human relationships like everyone else. If anything, we may crave it more. We want to be accepted. You may even find out we’re better than able-bodied partners.

Love is one of the hardest things to find. How do you feel about disability dating? How should we as disabled individuals approach someone we want to date? Let me know how you feel.

Beau Bruneau| voices.spectator@gmail.com

Tags: voices

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