The List: Signs of a toxic relationship

Category:  Opinions
Thursday, February 28th, 2019 at 8:58 AM

Growing into adulthood is an exciting transition; it’s a time for exploring your passions and talents, furthering your education or building a career. Needless to say, it’s a time for hustle, and if you’re choosing to have a companion by your side while doing so (whether that be a romantic partner or a best friend), it’s important to surround yourself with the right people. Healthy relationships should leave you feeling uplifted, motivated and positive. However, the warning signs of a toxic relationship aren’t always so obvious. According to Psychology Today, a toxic relationship is defined as “any relationship that is unfavorable to you or others.” With that being said, here are some important red flags to keep an eye out for:

1.) All take and no give. If someone truly cares about you, they will want to see you thrive and not deprive you of your energy. It’s important for each person to be doing their part to help one another grow. If someone leaves you feeling drained, as though you’re gaining nothing in return, it might be time to re-evaluate their role in your life.

2.) They make you feel insecure. A good friend or significant other is someone who sees the best in you and believes in your capabilities, not someone who nitpicks or belittles you or your aspirations.

3.) You find yourself gossiping about them often. This isn’t something that is fair for either party involved. A healthy relationship consists of two people who defend each other’s names, whether they are in the room or not. If you can find more bad things than good things to say about a person, then the relationship is probably not genuine. 

4.) You can’t trust them. Trust is an essential part of any type of relationship. The people you surround yourself with should be the ones you can confide in without the constant worry of them taking advantage of you or hurting you.

5.) Projection. Someone who isn’t confident in themselves might try to project their own insecurities onto you, instead of working through their own issues. Remember, “misery loves company.”

6.) They refuse to change their behavior. Someone who values their pride over you is not a person you should want to keep around. Unwillingness to grow is a toxic trait and could hinder not only them, but you too. No one should feel obligated to put up with any sort of behavior they aren’t comfortable with. 

Abby Martinson | voices.spectator@gmail.com

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