The top five: Worst candies to get in the Halloween basket

Category:  Opinions
Wednesday, November 1st, 2017 at 5:39 PM

Okay kiddos, it’s time for another round of “The Top Five…” For this go around, in the spirit of Halloween, we’ll be reminiscing about “The Top Five Worst Candies Ever” to hit our Trick or Treat baskets. 

1. Candy corn

Everyone knows these delightfully familiar little nuggets of disaster. Full of bright neon orange and yellows, they have a built in warning system that screams “DO NOT CONSUME!” It’s basically just a glorified sugar cube; nevertheless it’s a trademark of the holiday. 

2. Pixie sticks

Let’s be completely honest here. You’re eating flavored sugar, and that’s not actual candy. Nothing more and nothing less to this one, yet every year you’ll be sure to find a metric ton of this horrid, crystalline monstrosity. Why are they so bad, you ask? Well, imagine somebody throws out the Sour Patch Kids and then eats solely the sour and sugar dust at the bottom. That is what you’re doing and yes, you should feel bad. 

3. A toothbrush

Yes, you read that right. You’re sure to find that one health aficionado, or better yet a local dentist, who knows you need a toothbrush and not more candy. Sorry Cheryl, but we don’t need your negativity, we need more Crunch bars and if my teeth fall out, then I count that as a successful Halloween. 

4. Necco wafers

Have you ever had a burning desire to eat fruit-flavored chalk? Look no further than these disc-shaped candies that seemingly were made in the ‘20s en masse and have merely been recollected and redistributed every year. They’re popular seemingly in nursing homes, with that neighbor who really doesn’t like neighborhood kids, and ultimately in the trash. Eating one of these is like swallowing a desert and it leaves my mouth bone dry, which is not what I look for in candy. Overall, I give this candy one sad pumpkin out of 10.

5. Black licorice

“Oh, well it’s an acquired taste.” “You just need to give it a try!” Most of the time when someone has to do this much bargaining for you to try something, the end result is really subpar. This case is nothing different. I can’t really describe the taste, largely because I try to block out the memory of it. I thought it was black raspberry at first, so the shock when I bit into it was quite scarring to say the least.

What candies can you think of that didn’t make the list? Do you have a Halloween candy horror story? Share your thoughts and stories with The Spectator by emailing us at voices.spectator@gmail.com.

Roman Sabella and Devva Saunders can be reached at voices.spectator@gmail.com.

Tags: voices, list

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